Thingy what now?

It's all gone bokkedy . . .

2008-07-05T18:32:24Z

Translation: Bokkedy = Arseways

Ugh. Sorry about the delay, you guys. All will be explained in a sec . . . I've got things to vent.

So. During the week I accompanied Trent home to Wicklow for some moral support in breaking the awesome baby news to his parents . . . . . Asdykjltdlskylfgykl BLOODY MORONS.

They don't "approve," apparently. Yes, because accidents never happen, and all children are meticulously planned prior to the bun going into the oven, and impromptu families are never, quoth never, successful. IT ARE A FACT.

*head'splode*

In other news, there's a doggy-shaped hole in my existence that's starting to let in the cold, depression is starting to gnaw on my brains, and I'm broke. In both money and motivation.

Not to mention the fact that life shot me down again the other day by deciding to throw a virus in my face. In the time it took me to watch ET, I managed to develop full-blown influenza. My mum says I'm run-down. Trent says it's from grief. Erika says it's from stress. I say it sucks beyond all get-out. My throat's bloody killing me. The cabin fever's getting worse by the hour. Goddammit.

*rants some more*

Moving on to more pleasant things . . .

Cheering me up a little was this:

<3

It's actually a childhood snapshot taken from the biography of the Geisha Mineko Iwasaki. Good read, I'd recommend it. In any case, it was taken for her role as a butterfly, so I'm guessing the other character's a moth, but my fangirlyisms kicked into gear the instant I looked at the picture and now it shall forevermore remind me of Sesshomaru and Rin. <3 If that rumor about the IY live action movie were in any way true, I could only wish that it looked even remotely awesome as this. ¬_¬

And speaking of which, I have fic.

Blood Ties

It had been too much.

Simply too much.

Too much change in such a short time.

First, there was the child . . .

Born of a half-demon and a mortal priestess, Sai was the living image of his father right down to the ears, barely less a Hanyou than Inuyasha himself, and a testament to the strength of the Dog General's lineage. According to Kaede, Rin had been present and on-hand for every birth in the village since her second month there, but she had bonded with none of those whelps as she had with this baby boy. And arriving unannounced to find her tousle-headed, glowing with cheer, softly singing a Hanyou to sleep bathed in the burnished hues of sundown . . .

Sesshomaru had lost every track of thought at the sight.

Then there was the boy . . .

He had always thought of him as such. But why did he continue to do so, even now, when he was very clearly not a boy, having returned to the village only a week ago after five years of travel? Why, he was several inches taller than his sister, even. Having grown well, learnt much, and yet retained his inherently down to earth and unassuming nature, Kohaku had arrived in Edo to a heroes welcome. Rin had flown into raptures at the return of her childhood friend, and as for the boy . . . Yes, he too had been delighted to see his young companion again . . .

Most especially if those continuous looks of pleasant surprise and . . . appreciation . . . were any indicator.

And then there was . . . the blood.

She was late, according to the old woman. At fourteen years old - or so was the general consensus among her caretakers - Rin had been due to shed her first for some time now. Sesshomaru was inclined to agree. He'd sensed the first few internal rumblings months beforehand, and yet nothing had come of it. And then one day he'd placed his hand upon her soft dark hair, bade her farewell, left in pursuit of an upstart Neko Youkai faction . . . and returned to find a woman-child in the place of his ward.

The scent brought every part of him to a stumbling halt. The sight of her crawled down his spine. Then she'd turned, caught sight of him and smiled, and as if for the first time, it had truly struck him just how beautiful she was. Even bound in the simple peasants garb they'd clothed her in - not wanting risk any "accidents" with the kimono he brought during her cycle - she outshone every other female he'd known in his long life. Perhaps it was in her imperfection. Perhaps it was her fragile mortality. Perhaps it was her blunted human teeth, her clawless, harmless hands, her weak, warm body, her fearless, ferocious spirit. Perhaps it was those bright dark eyes that never looked upon him with anything less than warmth.

Perhaps it was, simply, that she was Rin.

His Rin . . .

Five days were very nearly longer than he could wait.

At first light she'd roused and dressed, cleaned the ashes from the fire pit, woken her elderly caretaker and donned her woven hamper, ready to set out on her first and favored errand of the day, gathering early-blooming herbs. Yawning cheerfully all the while, she slipped outside into the gray light of dawn and bid the Taiyoukai a wholehearted good morning. He'd inclined his head in return from his perch on the roof, where she would find him every morn and eve of his stay, and watched her disappear into the forest. First of all, she headed off towards the river, intending to cleanse herself of the messy aftermath of one more night in heat.

Now that just wouldn't stand . . .

Before the hunting owl returned from his night's predations, before the morning mists had finished rolling down from the mountains, before she'd made it half the distance to the waterside from the well-meadow, he'd taken her, and staked his claim.

And he'd encountered no resistance . . .

No rejection . . .

And no regrets.

Only wide, wide dark eyes and fumbling hands and soft, flushed skin . . .

Unconsciously, he found, he'd already chosen the spot. A tree, old and wise as the Goshinboku but long since passed, mightily rooted, broad and stolid, and hollowed out from age. Uncounted, nameless creatures had died within this space, lived within this space, birthed within this space; it was empty, and full of life.

But Rin did not know any of this. All that Rin knew was the first ravenous embrace of mouth, the first rush of blood to the head in being lowered to the earth, the first slide of claw and fang down fevered skin. Blind in the dark, she let him feast, wary, wild-shy, but never fearful. He stripped her bare and gorged himself.

She quivered, she shook, she was not afraid. Her hands were warm, her skin was slick, her flesh was pliant and her eyes were bright. The taste of her called to his body. The blood called to his own. He slaked his thirst when he spread her legs, pinned her when some foolish modesty incited protest, drove them both mindless when he curled his tongue deep. In that deep, dark place he sought after the deepest dark . . .

His mouth trailed coppery paths along her spine, set her shoulder blades alight, bathed the sweat from her fragile shoulders. His tongue pursued the tender structures of a tiny, rounded ear. His arm coiled fast about her waist, supporting her on hand and knee as he slid himself against the red wet heat. In the dark he was quiet and clear about the things he wanted to do to her, about the reasons he wouldn't do those things to her just yet . . .

The question was if she would wait for him.

The question was were he to call her his own . . . would she answer?

Rin arched, wept, and anointed his arousal.

Sesshomaru snarled and drenched her thighs.

And it was a pact if ever he'd known one.

* * *

OWARI

* * *

LOLICON WARNING. Dun read it if you dun dig it. Sorry it's so late Tomo, love, I got . . . RL'd. I'll stick it up in the ol' fic journal in a sec with side notes included. Hope you like it. And I still haven't read my marshmallow sexings yet, so . . . TRANSACTION COMPLETE. *sprints of to youkai_musings*

Home at last . . .

2008-07-02T10:19:54Z

Woohooz, I'm home. *dances half-heartedly*

Just checking in. Will have fic and whinings up tonight. For now, while I go about various daytime RL activities, I give you this to mull over.

*chokes*

O.o

Yyyyesh . . . See you guys later. *toddles off*

We can has baby now?

2008-06-28T12:06:58Z

*waves hands frantically* NO, NOT ME!! D8

O______________O

Guess where I am right now.

I am sprawled on my couch next to my best good friend, just woken up now at a quarter to one in the afternoon, having spent last night blubbing all over each other like incoherent idiots.

He's going to be a daddy.

OoO

HOLY CRAP.

litele_one @ 2008-06-27T00:50:00

2008-06-26T23:53:44Z

Meme stolened from tomoeish

Fill out plz?

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4: What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

FANDOM
1. Favorite Fandom:
2. OTP/OT3:
3. Icon/Fic Journal (so I can join):

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you?

I miss you, love . . .

2008-06-19T14:44:23Z

Finally found a photo that does her justice . . .

<3 <3 <3

God, is it normal to feel this miserable when your dog passes on?

I swear, it's like a gaping hole in my stomach. I have never truly known the meaning of the word sorrow until now. It feels so unreal. I'm like a child, all I keep thinking is "I want my dog back" but I know I never will. It's impossible. She's dead. She's dead. She won't ever be coming back now . . .

Guh. (-_-)

Fifteen years. I saw her every day for fifteen years. I fed her, I cuddled her, I teased her, I got annoyed with her. I skipped vacations and let my mum go instead because there was no one to look after her if we went away. I stayed up with her til 3 o' clock in the morning, alone in the flat because my mum was still in France, cradling her head in my lap on her last night, frightened I was going to have to face this on my own. I was given her, my first ever pet, for my sixth birthday, and lost her two months after my twenty-first. She's been in my life longer even than my own father.

God I miss you so much, Sandy.

And I'm trying to tell myself that she's happier now, she's comfortable, out of any pain she might have been in, but . . . it honestly does very little to ease the pain. I think I'm still feeling too low to take the high road. There are reminders of her everywhere, especially in the empty places that shouldn't be empty. The kitchen was her haunt; I keep walking aimlessly around in there, like I'm waiting for her, or I'm going to turn around and see her ambling around after me like she used to. I never knew the loss of such a simple sound as her claws clicking along the linoleum would cause me so much pain.

I even made a grief joke today. -_- It involved the fact that my dog died the very same day InuYasha came to an end. I'm not going to repeat it. I can't even remember exactly what I said. All I know is, it made me cry again.

Ugh. This is the meaning of suck. I lose both my nana, and now Sandy in the space of three months. I can't even look at the memorial I left for her when we came home from the vet's that day on DeviantArt right now, because it still makes me weep.

(-_-)

A friend of mine, however, gave me the most wonderful idea. He told me, "Dig out a song. One that never fails to make you happy, never fails to make you sing. Listen to it, and think of her. Remember when she was happy and she was well, and all the times she made you laugh . . . make it her song. And now whenever you listen to it, or when you hear it on the radio, you'll know it's her, you'll remember her, and you'll know that it's a sign, that's she's safe and that she's happy, and that she's thinking of you as well."

TT_TT *sob* <3

So I did. And since "Rapper's Delight" doesn't really seem to fit Sandy, ha, and I don't have a copy of "Don't Worry Be Happy", I chose this: http://www.mediafire.com/?dbcblnjm9zq I thought I'd share it if anyone needs something to cheer them up as well . . .

I love you, Sandy. I miss you. I hope you're well.

New InuYasha Movie . . . Yes, you heard me right

2008-06-17T11:06:25Z

O.O There are no words.

This came up on the Moonlight-Flower forums . . . Apparently, there's talk of an IY LIVE ACTION movie.

O.O

There's even a cast list.

http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kz=411378261

0.o

Say hey to Liveaction!Sesshomaru . . .

http://www.last.fm/music/%E5%A0%82%E6%9C%AC%E5%...%E4%B8%80/+images

Is anyone out there fluent in Chinese? Verification, please?? @_@

I may have anticipated this . . .

2008-06-14T13:30:27Z

I scribbled this in MSPaint a couple weeks back . . .

Yyyyeah . . . I now find that it sums up my reaction to the conclusion of InuYasha completely. I feel . . . underwhelmed and . . . disappointed. It's all so abrupt.

~~And there goes my OTP dammit~~

Oh well . . . I'll let it sink in for a while. With any luck, the scans will make me feel a little more positive than the transcript.

Here's hopin'.

A Quiz, Some Inane Babbling, and SesshomaruXRin

2008-02-13T15:57:58Z

Pinched off of northstar333. Take this quiz. Take it NOW, says I! You want scarily accurate, you got it.

You're 6:49 am

You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. *I wake up at that hour just for the very sight!* The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. *On my honor, there is no better time to go walking. Especially when you're with friends and you're all dopey and giggly and frzly with sleep deprivation* You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. *Is there a nicer sound? Especially at night, when it's all the more lovely just for the fact that you're not really expecting it* You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. *Scuse me, I have to go re-hinge my jaw* If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy – it's because you know there's no reason to rush. *I am consistantly accused of lazyness even though I take 5+ mile walks a day, just for the hell of it* You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) *I'm doing that RIGHT now OoO* that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.

Wow.

Will have SessXRin valentines ficcage up tomorrow. I've recently started an overhaul of A Birthday Tale (some of you from DA might reconognise that) which I retreated from cos canon basically thrashed the poor thing. But you know what, screw canon. It DID adhere to canon BEFORE Sessmom, and before Kohaku joined the Sesstachi, and before Bakusaiga and the return of The Missing Limb. So to hell with it. I need something to enjoy amidst all this post-funeral dizzyness hanging over the flat. My mum found one of my nanny's hairs amongst her personal effects we received from the nursing home this morning and it was just . . . Ugh. It's still so unreal. I can't believe she's gone.

Saw the Aristocats Special Edition DVD today and pounced on it, quite literally. I looooooooove old Disney. And jazz, ugh, jazz, I love you too. Now all I need is Robin Hood and The Sword in the Stone and I'll be a happy little foxy. That and this huge Gorillaz documentary that was shown at the Berlin Film Festival, apparently. Four years in the making? I am most intrigued . . .

Oh, yeah, before I forget . . . SESSHXRIN SHMEX! http://www.geocities.co.jp/AnimeComic-Cell/3417/shiawase.htm

Thought that'd get you in the mood for Valentines . . . ^_~

RIP

2008-02-08T11:09:00Z

Bridget "Bridie" Nixon, deceased as of 21:30 7th February 2008. Goodbye, Nanny. We love you, and we miss you, and we're all so, so glad that you're with Jimmy now, at long last. The people who loved you most were by your side in the end, and I think you knew it. Words cannot say how grateful we are for you, for the three generations of daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren that now stand in the world all because of you and grandda - we've you to thank for our lives. And your son, whom we never knew, whom they took away for the simple colour of his skin and the cast of his father, we will find him, and he will know his mother was a woman who endured so much, whom he could only be proud of. Because I know I am. And I'm sorry I never got to tell you all that. Thank you so much for hanging in there those hours I spent alone at your bedside. I will never forget that night I got to spend with you by myself, and I can't think of a greater gift. I love you so much, and I'm so happy you're at peace. Give grandda a kiss for me.

"Goodnight, God bless."

Because Sometimes We Just Gotta Laugh At Our Fandom

2008-01-31T22:31:26Z

A Fathers Love by ~tarkheki on deviant ART

WARNING: DO NOT FULL-VIEW UNTIL YOU HAVE DISTANCED ALL HOT AND COLD BEVERAGES OR SQUEAMISH SENSIBILITIES FROM YOUR COMPUTER!!

Inu in the last panel. LMFAO!!

This one's for the SesshXRin'erz. SAME WARNING APPLIES!

Poor Jaken . . . 8D

Expecting Mother by ~tarkheki on deviant ART

Mystery Solved! Now we know where Sessh ingerited his Pet The Fluff habit from!!

Double the Fluff by ~tarkheki on deviant ART

Inu-Papa rules . . . so hard . . . LoLoLolOloLoLOL!!

Free music, right here!

2008-01-14T19:06:37Z

Bite me, January. I'm gonna be happy whether you like it or not.

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=6ee060207c7a0ba34012e8015643d9c8f714c40ba4947b79

For everyone who hates this time of the year, this compilation is especially for you. Stick it in your iPod, your MP3, burn it to a CD, whatever, and the drudgery that is resuming your working routine after the New Year will no longer be a blight. This will definitely brighten up your morning commute.

And don't worry. This is happy music, but not the kind that makes you want to throw up. It's the kind that makes you dance. If you like Gorillaz, KT Tunstall, The Fratellis . . . Just trust me. You're gonna like it. ^_^

Have Yourself a Very Scary Christmas . . .

2007-12-26T13:40:19Z

Wow. You hear these horror stories about various unfortunates at Christmas, when everything that could happen does happen - but you never think it's going to happen to you, though, do you?

First, in the last weeks before the holiday, my dog collapses because she’s riddled with cancer and the tumour on the base of her tongue has grown so large that she’s vomiting and choking. Emergency surgery took care of it, but I literally worry myself sick, or so I think, but in actual fact it turns out I’ve contracted food poisoning which floors me for a week. Afterwards, while gleefully scarfing all the Christmassy cakes and choc in an effort to put on the weight I’ve lost while ill, my bio-father calls and requests my presence for a day of shopping and dinner - I promptly choke on my chocolate but agree, because it’s not unfair of him to want to see his daughter on Xmas, is it? As expected he tries to buy me out and I spend the entire day trying to fight him off, finally cracking when we find a gothic boutique, where he buys me a hoody for sixty-five freakin’ euro and a Living Dead Souls hoody which I adore despite myself, because it’s all black-and-grey stripes, thumb-holes in the sleeves, secret pockets, a tiny silver skull with ruby eyes dangling off the zip, and the hood has two little points that make it look like you’re hiding little horns or perhaps, even a set of dog-ears under there . . . I promptly feel like the guiltiest, cheapest little sell-out in the world when I get home. And he wanted to buy me more, for god's sakes. In between self-recrimination and last minute rushing for Xmas, I don’t get a second to go online, and then when I finally do on the day before Christmas eve, I haven’t logged on ten minutes when I get a phonecall telling me that my adopted sister Nicita [oldest daughter of my mum’s ten-year boyfriend] has been stabbed by her mother’s abusive drunken $#|@ of a boyfriend. He stabbed a fifteen year old girl. He also whacked her five-year-old brother, kicked a table on my sweet little Erica [who's 13 for crying out loud and absolutely tiny], and tried to strangle the woman who's supposed to be his girlfriend. If that woman doesn't leave him now [because this has been going on for over ten years now] there is no hope for her. Christmas eve Nicita undergoes surgery to save her thumb because it’s been severed to the bone; Christmas day we take our traditional dinner late because her dad brings her home that morning, and the poor guy's driven to the point of distraction with worry and anger, and her older brother [who lives with their dad] is practically stewing in contained violence.

*takes a moment to catch her breath*

In between all this, however, there were tiny magical moments in which I felt the Xmas spirit almost as deeply as I did when I was a kid. I think that perhaps, because of all the chaos, I appreciated the spirit of the season more than I have in years. I just wanna take a moment to wish all you guys out there on LJ, and all your loved one, a very Merry Christmas indeed, if not a slightly belated one. ^_^ I wish you all the best and even better for the coming New Year.

You guys rock.

But you probably already know that. ^_^

Insert Despairing Wail Here . . .

2007-12-03T14:46:53Z

This CANNOT BE HAPPENING.

Please God, Moses, Allah, Buddah, whoever - PLEASE, do not take my dog from me because I am not ready for this, we are not ready for this, for Christ sakes she's only fourteen!!

InuYasha/Mononoke ficcage!

2007-11-15T13:51:40Z

Sesshomaru dropped by last night with a package from Kusuriuri.

You guys wanna take a peek?

Trainride

By Reiycheru

It had been an odd morning from the outset for him.

The opening of the new railway line had not gone unannounced. All other departures had been rerouted to work around the new schedule, and he was not the only one left to mill aimlessly around the station with time to spare on his hands. But for some reason he couldn't pinpoint for the life of him, he simply could not shake the feeling of being thoroughly ill at ease as he wandered leisurely through the throng, no matter what his outward demeanour might have said to the contrary. There was the strangest, lingering feeling of being watched by unseen eyes, and the constant, niggling urge to look over his shoulder. He gave in to the instinct, though once or twice only, under the pretext of checking the clock above the platform, or brushing imaginary dust from the shoulder of his crisp dark overcoat, stealing discreet glances behind him from underneath his eyelashes, but there was nothing out of the ordinary at all he could see.

And yet somehow the spaces in the crowd made him uneasy, as though they were not nearly as empty as they seemed. At one point, he could have sworn he heard a cat yowling nearby, long and loud and hard. The fine hair on the back of his neck stood on end, but when he looked around there was nothing. Nothing. Neither hide nor hair of anything remotely feline in the vicinity, no old lady with a pet-carrier waiting for the train to the veterinarian's office in the next town over, no child with a kitten wrapped up in their coat. Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, and more than a little put upon, he turned on his heel and walked briskly away to the newsstand to purchase a paper, where he took a seat on the nearest bench and forcedly immersed himself in the printed normality. More front page headlines for the mayor, again. Charity work, the opening of the new railway line. There wasn't a speck of anything remotely shady or underhand to mar that man's name. Personally, he felt it more than a little unconvincing.

His stocks had gone up. Scattered showers were predicted for later on in the week. That penthouse apartment on main street was still available. His horoscope was abysmally off the mark. A cheerful old man with a shiny bald pate, large glasses and a pointed nose loaned him a pen and he determinedly focused on the crossword puzzle, completing it save for one word he couldn't quite pinpoint what with that persistent tingle crawling up and down his spine.

All in all though, he was as perfectly composed as a man could be by the time his train hissed to a stop at the platform. The old man merrily waved him away when he tried to politely return the pen. Overcoat folded neatly over the arm of his suit jacket, newspaper folded and tucked neatly under the other, he joined the flow of passengers streaming through the doors. A long drawn whistle, and the train pulled away from the platform, impeccably punctual as ever regardless of schedule change.

The carriage was quite full. He gave up an overhead strap to a harried but grateful young office clerk, obviously thrown off schedule like the rest of them, and grasped a relaxed hold of the guide rail. His sense of balance had always been sharper than most. Unbeknownst as to why, he began to feel somewhat better at last as the train left the station by the wayside, picking up speed as it did so, and for the first time in hours he felt his shoulders un-tauten, his stomach muscles relax. He shifted into a more relaxed stance, releasing the bar for one second to fold an errant lock of hair behind his ear. Exhaling a quiet breath, he settled in for the ride.

One look out the window and it all came undone.

He was standing on the tracks.

Unconcerned, unafraid, the figure turned to look at the train as it hurtled out of the tunnel, watching with mild interest as it charged headlong toward him. A pleasant breath of wind stirred his pale hair and gently lifted the hem and flowing sleeves of a vibrant silk haori; sunlight glinted off the corner of an ornate wooden chest he carried easily on his back. His face, composed as it was remarkable, was one that would not fade from memory for a long time, if ever.

His knuckles were white around the bar.

The train's whistle pierced the morning air, though it seemed to come from strangely far away, and they didn't seem to be slowing at all. No, they weren't even trying.

All the blood in his veins drained away; abruptly refilled with ice water.

The youth lifted his head. Ageless eyes met him across a great divide, stilled his body and held his soul in place. Truth was unhidden. Form was apparent. Regret was acknowledged. A smile. A strange, sheathed sword, held aloft like a salute, or maybe even a greeting . . .

And then he wasn't there.

The second whistle was deafening. His teeth were locked together, all his nerves alight, and the train charged through the empty space as though it were eager to prove it had been empty all along. There was no bump, no sudden jolt, no piercing squeal of breaks, no headfirst pitch into the aisle, no screams of horrified women, no bellowing of appalled men. There was only laughter, and low conversation, and all his bones locked into place like iron that had been neatly soldered.

Centuries passed before his blood began to flow again; millennia before he could salvage the propensity to think. The train chugged on, regardless. He half-heartedly wondered if he'd fallen asleep on his feet for a moment. The thought looked about itself a moment, mutely hopeful, before hiding its face in embarrassment.

The world seemed different. His sight seemed clearer. His hearing slightly sharper. Even his sense of smell. He looked around with eyes like a hungry animal's. Talking people. Milling people. Dozing people. Untroubled people.

Blind people?!

Hadn't anybody else seen tha-?!

Wide-eyed. Stiff-limbed. Silent as the grave. Thirteen years old or thereabouts, skinny and rather undersized under a shock a glossy black hair. Scuffed shoes and red coat; scraped knees and pleated skirt. Pretty in an impish way. White as a sheet.

He knew it the moment he saw her.

As though he'd called her by name, she turned her head and stared mutely at him across the carriage.

The train juddered.

She lost her breath, and dropped her books. He moved.

Two or three bent with sympathetic expressions. He waved them away, courteous as a young prince. The girl was kneeling, fumbling, trying to gather several loose leaves of handwritten paper escaped from a peach-coloured journal. He bent and joined her. They recovered the books. They did not look at each other.

'What did you see?' he said quietly.

Her hand shook.

'H-He was standing on the tracks.' She sounded like a recently plucked flower. 'He was standing on the tracks . . .' He handed her a loose page. 'I - He - He looked at me.' They carefully arranged their own respective stacks. 'H-his eyes were . . .'

They stood. They looked at each other. Her eyes were too big and the girl was too small. Then again, maybe he was too tall.

'D-did you see . . .?'

'You look pale,' he murmured. He carefully prised the books from her hands. Turning, he locked an a squat little man with large round glasses and strode across the aisle.

'This girl needs to sit down.' His voice sounded odd when it registered in his ears, but the little man blinked widely and almost eagerly complied, bowing enthusiastically despite the relative command. He even shooed several others in the general vicinity busily away. That done, he shoved himself firmly onto an already overcrowded seat on the other side of the carriage, deaf to the complaints and almost puffed up with pride.

Vaguely bemused, he turned back to the girl and reached for her shoulder, leading her to the seat. She didn't argue. He placed her books neatly on her lap. She placed her hands neatly on top of them.

'Where are you going?' he asked quietly.

She tried to remember. ' . . . To my grandpa . . . To my grandfather's house. To see my grandpa.' She looked up at him, and blinked. 'Ten stops after the bridge,' she recited.

He nodded thoughtfully. 'I'll take you there.'

She didn't protest. He sat next to her and folded his overcoat across his knees. The newspaper was laid on top. She crossed her ankles.

They were quiet. Life carried on. An accountant asked a waitress for the time. A young man pushed his glasses up his nose. A secretary took out a small gold compact and re-applied her lipstick. A woman laughed. A baby cried. An old man snored. The train whistled.

He considered his reflection in the opposite window.

'Do you see things very often?' he asked thoughtfully.

She didn't answer the question.

'Do you?' she asked.

He said nothing. He looked at her.

She smiled. 'I'm Rin.'

'Takahashi,' he murmured automatically, looking back at the window, and then stilled as the desire to act on his often-repressed instincts lifted its head and howled, long and hard. ' . . . Takahashi Sesshomaru.'

He could see her smile in the glass.

The train whistled, and carried on.

THE END

Author's Note: Tomoe, if you’re reading, this actually ISN’T the fic I mentioned putting up the other day. This piece came out of nowhere almost fully formed around ten o’ clock last night and I couldn’t stop typing until it was done - thus the reason it’s unedited yet.

There’s a little part of me that truly believes in the possibility of reincarnation and I figured, since it’s indicated that Kusuriuri can see through incarnations [witness the Kayo/Chiyo[?] incident in the final episode] I imagined that the medicine seller could likely recognize what Sesshomaru once was, and what part of him may still have been. Perhaps they were acquaintances in the past, and perhaps Sesshomaru did possess the strength to become the kind of enduring power that Kusuriuri is, but decided instead to follow the mortal cycles for whatever reason of his own. *holds up large flashing sign and points it at Rin* And perhaps Kusuriuri could see that, could understand it, and acknowledge it. *points said sign at Kayo*

Do leave a review.

NOEIN The Preview

2007-10-13T18:53:39Z

This is quite possibly my favourite anime preview ever. Mirjam honey, this is for you. *winks* Should whet your appetite for those DVD's, methinks. =D Next post should include my Noein AMV, just as soon as YouTube finishes loading the darn thing . . . YAY! \\(^o^)//

For Tomo . . .

2007-09-04T17:23:06Z

This is for Tomo, who needs some fanficcage, STAT! And since I know what it is to crave Sess/Rin, I can only empathize, and thus submit this – fragments of an unfinished SessXRin piece I have locked safely under my bed while RL chomps relentlessly on my fantarding activites. It’s not much, but it’s all I have, and I hope it helps, in some small way at least . . .

Here's to the anti-drug that is SesshomaruXRin . . .

*****

There is nothing so detrimental to one’s self control as Spring.

Every year it was like watching a butterfly emerge from it’s cocoon to spread its colourful wings, as she shed the layers of quilted Winter kimono for the bright yukata that so became her and flitted about the fresh young flowers, sunlight turning her pale limbs luminous, perspiration gleaming on the curve of her neck, her scent dancing constantly on the wind and under his nose like a blatant proposition.

But she was not at fault. That was his own, and he would not remand her for his own shortcomings. No, the failing lay with him alone, and he would determine, every year, to swallow his stirrings, rein in his mutinous desires, and summon forth the control that made up so much of his formidable strength.

And yet there he would find himself, shadowing her movements physically or mentally, drawn to her like a moth to a flame . . . Hypnotised by her bright eyes, fascinated by the perfection in her imperfection. She is fragile, she is weak, tenuous as a young doe; She is a prey animal, and he can silently admit, sometimes he does look at her through a hunter’s eyes, but it is not bone and blood and meat he craves. His is an altogether different hunger, and one that goes un-sated. And it will remain so, he is determined. He is not some mindless, rabid animal.

His beast in the deep has never broken the surface, but there are times when Sesshomaru feels it near.

He will not allow it. He will not allow it anywhere near her. Over the years he has shielded and saved her from monsters of every shape and form, and this is but one more whose claws he will preserve her from. It likes to watch her though, and there are times when the sight of her seems to soothe rather than rouse it, so he is willing to permit this voyeurism for the sake of blessed peace. Then however come the occasions when the effect produced is all the contrary, and he feels it in his bones, underneath his skin, like stealthy paws and pooling heat, and it crawls up his sternum and it slithers down his spine, and he is silent and burning and she has no idea.

He will never say.

---

There is nothing so dangerous as a Summertime’s eve.

The external heat is often as unbearable as the heat stewing inside his bones. Days are bright, hot, and languid. Nights are dark, oppressive, and restless. She will lay herself down, and he will watch her stir, and squirm, and stretch, her countenance strained as she dreams, her limbs spread wide, the moonshine pooling in the hollow of her clavicle drawing his eyes to her skin . . . Rin loses more sleep in this season than any other.

When she wakes in the early hours she is usually drenched in her own perspiration, her yukata clinging to her skin, and as she picks herself up and approaches him the scent of her is so strong Sesshomaru is tempted to simply rip away her clothing and lick her clean, if it would spare him his sanity. But he wouldn’t dare.

When she cannot sleep and he is unwilling to remove himself from the campsite for fear of any stray Mononoke stumbling across her and her soft, sweet skin, he will lead her away from their companions and let her follow in his footsteps as he wanders the moonlit forest.

There is something about it, something about these long, dreamtime hours spent walking under the night’s velvet mantle; something so peaceable, so cathartic, so . . . Intimate in a manner all its own. In the daytime hours, he will rarely slow his step - if she cannot keep up, she will duly climb abreast Ah-Un. But in the darkness, he will wait, will guide, will even go so far as to offer a clawed hand to assist her around errant boulders or skeletal tree-roots.

[tbc]

-----

And there is nothing so absolute as a winter’s night.

There is no room to manoeuvre, no space to hesitate; it is so cold and she is so fragile and he is so full of everlasting heat. A cave can only give so much shelter; a carefully erected wall of clawed rock can only offer so much insulation; a reptilian dragon and imp can only provide so much by way of physical comfort.

He cannot sleep.

He will not sleep.

She is so tenuous, regardless of the unyielding hold her fingers clasp in his clothing. He refuses to close his eyes, refuses to look elsewhere for even a moment, so achingly aware of how easily lost a human life is . . . It is for that reason, he tells himself, so half-heartedly these days, that she is clasped fast against him in the darkness, cradled tight in his arms and legs, wrapped in silk and hair and heated skin as he opens not only his arms but his haori to her as the bone-chilling cold seeps further into the cave as the night crawls past, so mockingly slow . . .

[tbc]

------

Sesshomaru, Rin, and Xmas fans!

2007-08-21T16:08:33Z

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanart/view.php/190749

I HAD to pimp this. Go there. Full view in the separate window with the magnifier in the bottom corner. LEAVE A REVIEW! I can't believe I'm the only one who left this a comment . . .

WOOT!

2007-07-14T13:15:40Z

Okay, I'm having a good day here . . .

Reason to be happy one: I have just been selected for an ECDL course [that European Computer Driving License for y'all out there . . . and no it doesn't have anything to do with cars! XD]. I start on Monday!! WHOOP! I am sooooo on my way to my first employment opportunity since my medical probs began! *dances*

RTBH TWO: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is FANTASTIC. Hooray for late night showings!

RTBH THREE: Okay I may have missed the Porn Party but HOLY HELL. I just opened my friends page and it's like . . . all my birthdays and Christmas's have come at once . . . *gloats over all the shmex*

. . . Oh yeah and the radio's playing Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight". Whee . . . =D

For Anyone Who Might Have Been Wondering . . .

2007-06-28T15:30:49Z

Hi guys, it's me. ^_^ Long time no see, eh? Gah, I've been gone for a while, and now I've gotta check all my friends pages . . . this is gonna be fun. X-)

Anyway, I wanted to post this just in case anyone was curious as to what's happened after my birth-father's sudden reappearance after years of nothing and more nothing . . .

Guess what? We're actually in touch! O.o I'm still trying to adjust to it, to tell the truth . . . Well, it took me a week to psych myself up and find the strength to face him . . . and then in the middle of this, he calls my mother out of the blue to ask how I'm doing. While we're having lunch and I'm sat in the very next armchair. Shock, more shock, horror, and "OMG, I'm not ready for this." I abruptly got up and left the room to make a bowl of cereal in the kitchen and calm myself down. Seriously, the effect this man can have on me is unreal. Actually, I was quite disturbed because I realized I was actually very close to having a panic attack. At some point, however, don't ask me which, I just thought "What the hell? What have I got to be scared about, he can't hurt me. I'm the one who's gonna be behind the wheel of anything that progresses from here. If he wants to be my dad again, that's at my discretion. I set the terms. Get back in there and quit being a wuss."

So I did. I sat down in my chair and shut up and ate my cereal. My ma was still talking to him, and he was yakking away about everything under the sun . . . And I slowly start getting annoyed. He was asking personal questions pertaining to me ["Sooo, is she going out with anyone?" "Can I expect grandchildren any time soon?" WTF??! You can't look after your own DAUGHTER for crying out loud. GRANDKIDS??!], personal questions he should be saving for me if he wants the answers, so I put down my bowl, grab the phone, and take it into the next room.

What followed was a three, perhaps four-hour-long conversation that was long-overdue, and, I'm proud to say, was a civil one. I surprised myself. I conducted myself highly, and I'm still proud of it. He could not get over how much of an adult I had become [good thing he doesn't know about my Spongebob pyjamas ><]. I was also pretty much the hard ass. I made him face every issue and told him just how much he hurt the little girl I was. Several times it was obvious he was spoiling for an argument and still I didn't lose my head. And what surprised me was, because I was forcing myself to act with dignity, I managed to hold an actual, and pleasant, almost, conversation with him.

But he seems to be getting ahead of himself, I've noticed, since that night. He wants me to come visit his side of the family and so on . . . Not yet. There'll be plenty of time in the future for that. I still need to get used to being around him before I can move on from that. We've still got a lot to talk about, and I won't ignore these issues. But I just want to thank you guys here, Alterfano and Fuschiafinn especially, for offering some sage advice and a great big bear-hug of support which helped me make some sense of the chaos whirling in my head, and gave me the resolution I needed to face this head-on.

You guys cannot imagine how grateful I am for your words of wisdom. And now, I've beaten my fear and wounded pride and gone ahead and done with something I knew was the right thing to do despite my reluctance.

And Mir-chan . . .? The support you threw in there was worth its weight in gold . . . as are you. *hugs* I'll be in touch real soon, honey. I've been busy because I've taken time out of my schedule to actually spend some of it with "the man who wants to be my father again". Beware. Next email you get from me is likely to be as long your local area phonebook. Whee. ^_^

Pan's Labryinth, A Tribute

2007-06-14T16:27:32Z

Please, don't be too hard on me. This is my first ever video, and I made it with very little footage at my disposal. It's not too bad though, methinks. Ugh, but turn up your contrast when you watch it. It came out much darker than it was on my own computer . . .

It did it's job of cheering me up when I needed it though.

litele_one @ 2007-06-01T14:22:00

2007-06-01T13:37:30Z

That sound you hear is probably my psyche imploding.

I feel like I've been hit by an emotional freight train. I'll ask your forgiveness for testing anyone's level of tolerance for ranting, but I really needed to vent this . . .

I was having an awesome day yesterday, a fantastic, sparkly happy day until I was walking home, and suddenly some guy on a motorbike pulled over across the street and hailed me. Confused, I stopped to wait as he crossed the road towards me, and then he took off his helmet.

It was my father.

I should probably fill you in on my history with my father to convey the full impact of this. I used to be a real daddy's girl when I was a kid, and then one day, he just left me. He didn't live with me and my mum, but he came up practically every week to visit me. Then he just stopped coming for some reason. Being ten at the time, I couldn't understand that it wasn't my fault and had nothing to do with me whatsoever, it was his own problem and the simple fact that he couldn't deal with my mother going out with someone else even though they'd split up when I was barely a toddler. It messed me up as a kid and took a long time for me to recover.

When I was sixteen he reappeared, full of apology and regret. It was a shock, to say the least; but I being gracious, I agreed to let him try and patch things up with me. We spent months together going shopping and doing various father daughter things, and I was starting to get comfortable when one day, I texted him and asked for a lend of a DVD he had . . . His response was "Fuck Off". And I saw nothing of him since.

All I can think is "Not again, not again," and it's killing me, because he looked so sad and he looks so old now and he seemed genuinely sorry and . . . I don't know what to do. I don't want to have to go through this again. But there'll always be that damned part of me that's still just a little girl wondering why her daddy went away and I just don't know what to do. I feel angry at myself for feeling sorry for him; I don't want to be a pushover and just let him walk right back into the picture and be my father again. I have my mom's boyfriend for that, and I've had him for ten years; HE is my dad in my eyes.

I'm completely zoned out. It feels like I've walked slam into a wall and I can't think straight. Has anyone out there gone through something similar? I need help . . . I just don't know what to do.

litele_one @ 2007-05-16T14:32:00

2007-05-16T13:34:02Z

EDIT: Deleted because HTML is evil, and now I'm sulking. *pout*

FOR LOVERS OF JAPANESE MYTHS AND MONSTERS!!

2007-05-13T21:43:50Z

Follow the link, my dears . . . http://www.obakemono.com/index.php

Opinion Sought!

2007-04-30T12:44:20Z

http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/?56630

ATTENTION, SESSH/RIN FANS

2007-04-26T13:57:43Z

QUESTION!

I'm currently searching for a brilliant fanfiction that seems to have gone missing from the web without a trace. It was called REGENERIST and I believe the author's name was Boticelliangel on mediaminer . . . If anyone knows whether there are still existing links to it, what happened to it, or have it saved up somewhere on harddrive, I would be indebted to you if you could pass it on please. Thank you everyone.

. . . I get the feeling I shoulda posted this up on the side of a milk carton or somethin . . .